Last Updated on December 20, 2024 by Kittredge Cherry
Mychal Judge, chaplain to New York firefighters and unofficial “gay saint,” died helping others in the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center on Sept. 11, 2001. He was the first recorded victim of 9/11.
A popular Franciscan priest during his lifetime, he rose to sainthood by popular acclaim because he gave his life in the line of duty as a chaplain during one of the most transformative events in U.S. history. He was active in the LGBTQ Catholic group Dignity, but few knew about his own gay sexual orientation until after his death. Some are trying to get him canonized as an official saint in the Roman Catholic Church. Many believe that he is already a saint. Unlike most contemporary queer saints celebrated by the LGBTQ community, Mychal Judge was a church insider who had already devoted his life to Christ.
New in 2024: A rainbow halo affirms Mychal Judge’s gay identity in the new icon at the top of this post. It was created by Matthew, a practicing Roman Catholic and whose artwork appears at Queer Catholic Icons on Instagram as @queer.catholic.icons.
Judge had a big Irish smile, a lively sense of humor and an uncanny ability to get along with a wide range of people, from macho firefighters to gentle friars and queer activists. He broke taboos by ministering to marginalized people, including the homeless, immigrants, and people with AIDS at a time when society treated like lepers. His sense of brokenness as a closeted gay man and recovering alcoholic may have helped him have compassion for others, trust in God and a desire to compensate for his imperfections, real or imagined. He died as he lived, caring for those in need with little thought for his own safety.
Mychal Judge gave his life on 9/11
Mychal Judge (May 11, 1933 – Sept. 11, 2001) responded quickly when extremists flew hijacked planes into the twin towers. He rushed with firefighters into the north tower right after the first plane hit. Refusing to evacuate, he declined an invitation to join city officials in a safe location, saying, “My work here is not finished.” The unselfish priest did not want to abandon the firefighters and others in desperate need. He prayed and gave sacraments as wreckage crashed outside. He saw dozens of bodies hit the plaza as people jumped to their deaths. He administered last rites and blessed bodies on the ground. His final prayer, repeated over and over, was “Jesus, please end this right now! God, please end this!” Judge was killed by flying debris.
“Holy Passion Bearer Mychal Judge” by William Hart McNichols.
While Judge was praying, he was struck and killed in a storm of flying steel and concrete that exploded when the south tower collapsed. He was designated as Victim 0001 because his was the first body recovered at the scene. More than 2,500 people from many nationalities and walks of life were killed. Thousands more escaped the buildings safely.
An iconic news photo shows firefighters carrying Judge’s limp corpse at Ground Zero. It is sometimes called “American Pieta,” connecting it to the Renaissance sculpture by Michelangelo of Mary cradling the the dead body of her son Jesus after the crucifixion.
Judge’s body was not taken to the morgue, but laid out on the marble floor before the altar at nearby St. Peter’s Catholic church. His body lay in repose there for an hour or two until the Franciscan friars came to collect it. The church also served as a staging ground for emergency equipment during 9/11 rescue and recovery operations. Just one day earlier, on Sept. 10, Judge had preached a sermon at that very church at a Mass for New York City firefighters, including these words:
“You do what God has called you to do. You get on that rig, you go out and do the job. No matter how big the call, no matter how small, you have no idea of what God is calling you to do, but God needs you. He needs me. He needs all of us. God needs us to keep supporting each other, to be kind to each other, to love each other…”
Mychal Judge identified as gay
Judge was open about being gay with a few trusted friends, including friars, colleagues and gay men on the streets. After his death, some of his friends revealed that he considered himself a gay man and his personal diaries confirmed it. He had a homosexual orientation, but by all accounts he remained faithful to his religious vow of celibacy.
The charismatic priest was a long-term member of Dignity, the oldest and largest national lay movement of LGBTQ Catholics and their allies. Judge marched in Pride parades, voiced disagreement with the Vatican’s condemnation of homosexuality, and found ways to welcome Dignity’s AIDS ministry despite a ban by church leaders. In 1999 he defied a church boycott of the first gay-inclusive St. Patrick’s Day parade in Queens, showing up in his habit and granting news media interviews.
The love of Judge’s life was Al Alvarado, a Filipino nurse who was 30 years younger. They met in 1991 through AIDS ministry friends and developed a deep, close friendship that lasted a decade until they were parted by Judge’s death. Some biographers describe is as a “romantic friendship.” Their relationship was discreet, but Judge recorded some of it in his diaries. At a friend’s urging, he kept a journal of his reflections and experiences as a gay man for several months in 1999 with the dream of publishing it someday. The love between Judge and Alvarado is well documented in the 2008 biography “The Book of Mychal: The Surprising Life and Heroic Death of Father Mychal Judge” by Michael Daly.
When people are asked to name their favorite LGBTQ saint, Mychal Judge comes up often. Most contemporary LGBTQ saints are secular figures such as politician Harvey Milk, activist Marsha P. Johnson or college student Matthew Shepard. Judge is unusual because he had an official church position. Like Milk and Shepard, Judge died a violent death. They were killed at least partly because they were gay, while Judge’s murder was not related to his sexual orientation. He was a national hero, but his gay orientation is important because it helps contradict and correct negative stereotypes about LGBTQ people, and because it was part of who he was, perhaps even motivating his compassion for human suffering in the complex interplay of his soul. In this sense, Judge is similar to Henri Nouwen, a priest and author whose secret struggle with a gay orientation helped him develop the concept of the “Wounded Healer.” In both cases, their gay feelings were made public posthumously by their friends and their private writings.
During his lifetime, he often asked, “Is there so much love in the world that we can afford to discriminate against any kind of love?”
Mychal Judge faced a lifetime of struggles
Mychal Judge was born to Irish immigrants on May 11, 1933, in Depression-era Brooklyn, New York. His birth name was Robert Emmett Judge, but when he became a friar he took the name Fallon Michael Judge. Later he changed the spelling to Mychal to distinguish himself from others named Michael. In 1939, when the boy was six years old, his father died of mastoiditis after a slow and painful three-year illness.
To earn extra money, the future Father Mychal used to shine shoes outside Penn Station in the heart of Manhattan — then visit the Franciscan friars at the nearby St Francis of Assisi Church. He left home for seminary at age 15, became a Franciscan friar and was ordained a Catholic priest in 1961.
Mychal Judge is shown as a young friar in art from “Heavenly Homos, Etc.: Queer Icons from LGBTQ Life, Religion, and History” by Jan Haen. He tells the life stories of about 30 inspirational LGBTQ figures, including Judge.
In early years of his ministry, Judge struggled with alcoholism. After one night of heavy drinking, he woke up to discover that he had a shamrock tattooed on his buttocks. Judge went into recovery in 1978 and advocated Alcoholics Anonymous, sharing his personal story to help others.
Movement to canonize Mychal Judge as a saint
Many people, both inside and outside the LGBTQ community, call Judge a saint. In summer 2017 New Ways Ministry began a new effort to get Judge canonized as an official saint in the Roman Catholic church.
“Pope Francis paved the way for Father Judge to be considered for canonization this past week when he added a new possible pathway to sainthood: the heroic giving of one’s life for others,” New Ways Ministry Executive Director Francis DeBernardo wrote in a call to start the canonization process.
Mychal Judge medal from the Customize the Charms Etsy shop
They are seeking first-hand accounts from people who knew Judge. “Extremely important is any information regarding a possible miracle attributed to Father Judge’s intercession,” he added.
There is also a Facebook group devoted to “Support for the Canonization of Mychal F. Judge, OFM.”
Meanwhile his grave has become an informal shrine and pilgrimage site adorned with flags, flowers and trinkets. It is located in the Holy Sepulchre Cemetery in Totowa, New Jersey. The church where he served as a priest, St. Francis of Assisi Church and Friary, is also a place of remembrance that is recognized by New York City’s official LGBT Historic Sites Project.
He may not be canonized yet by his own Roman Catholic Church, but he does appear on a new religious medal. Can canonization be far behind? His smiling face is framed by the words, “Mychal Judge, pray for us.” The round pendant comes in gold or silver with the option of a personalized message engraved on the reverse side. The Mychal Judge medal is available from the Customize the Charms Etsy shop.
Some feel that he has already become a saint by popular acclamation, and the Orthodox-Catholic Church of America did declare officially declare him a saint. Here is a round-up of artwork, films and books about him.
Mychal Judge and 9/11 in religious art
Judge has a rainbow halo in an icon created by queer Lutheran artist and seminarian Katy Miles-Wallace as part of her “Queer Saints” series. It appears at the top of this post. She shows him dressed in a Franciscan robe with the jacket of a fire fighter over one shoulder. The series presents traditional saints with queer qualities and heroes of the LGBTQ community.
The icons are rooted in queer theology and in Miles-Wallace’s eclectic faith journey that began at a Baptist church in Texas and led to study at Pacific Lutheran Theological Seminary in Berkeley, California. She drew many of them on the altar of a seminary chapel. For more info, see the Q Spirit article “New icons of Queer Saints created by artist Katy Miles-Wallace.”
A dramatic icon of Judge against a backdrop of the burning buildings was painted by Father William Hart McNichols. He shows Judge with Saint Francis of Assisi as the World Trade Center burns behind them. The narrative that accompanies the icon describes Judge as a Passion Bearer who “takes on the oncoming violence rather than returning it… choosing solidarity with the unprotected.” The terminology comes from the Eastern Orthodox tradition. They use the phrase “passion bearer” to honor a person who faces death in a Christ-like manner, even if they were not killed for their faith. This is one of 32 McNichols icons included in “You Will Be My Witnesses: Saints, Prophets, And Martyrs” with text by John Dear. McNichols is a Roman Catholic priest based in New Mexico. He has a deep connection to New York City because he worked at an AIDS hospice there in the 1980s.
“Father Mychal Judge” by Robert Lentz. Prints are available through Amazon and Trinity Stores.
Judge carries his fire department hat in an icon by Robert Lentz, a Franciscan friar known for his innovative and LGBTQ-positive icons. It is one of 40 icons featured in the book “Christ in the Margins” by Robert Lentz and Edwina Gateley. Lentz is stationed at Holy Name College in Silver Spring, Maryland. Both McNichols and Lentz have faced controversy for painting gay-affirming icons. They are two of the 11 artists whose life and work are featured in “Art That Dares: Gay Jesus, Woman Christ, and More ” by Kittredge Cherry.
A smiling Mychal Judge with a halo was sketched by Tobias Haller, an iconographer, author, composer, and retired vicar of Saint James Episcopal Church in the Bronx, still assisting at a parish in Baltimore, Maryland. He is the author of “Reasonable and Holy: Engaging Same-Sexuality.” Haller enjoys expanding the diversity of icons available by creating icons of LGBTQ people and other progressive holy figures as well as traditional saints. He and his spouse were united in a church wedding more than 30 years ago and a civil ceremony after same-sex marriage became legal in New York.
“(Saint) Mychal Judge being Welcomed by the Franciscan Saints” by JR Leveroni
The priest’s connection with others is emphasized in “(Saint) Mychal Judge being Welcomed by the Franciscan Saints” by JR Leveroni. Deliberately painted in the primitive style of folk art, it builds on the “American Pieta” photo of firefighters carrying Judge’s corpse. In Leveroni’s vision, saints replace the firefighters to carry Judge onward to heaven. He still holds his red firemen’s helmet in his left hand. Leveroni has also painted gay martyrs Matthew Shepard and Saint Sebastian together.
Mychal Judge by Elijah Haswell
Judge is also included in the “People of Pride” project by Elijah Haswell, a queer transgender artist dedicated to accessible, inclusive non-fiction. The series celebrates historic LGBTQ+ Americans with cartoon-like portraits, boxes packed with fun factoids, and a quick quotation. Haswell began the series in 2018 and it was so popular that a “People of Pride” book was released in 2019 with redrawn illustrations and its own Kickstarter campaign.
“Our Mother of Sorrows” by Lewis Williams (TrinityStores.com)
Another contemporary icon providing spiritual comfort after the 9/11 attacks is “Our Mother of Sorrows” by Colorado artist Lewis Williams of the Secular Franciscan Order (SFO). It shows Mary with airplanes instead of angels. She cradles the twin towers of the World Trade Center. “The smoke, stylized and sanctified, bears witness to the ultimate sacrifice of so many on September 11,” says the icon’s narrative.
Williams studied with master iconographer Robert Lentz. A common theme in Williams’ icons is social justice, including LGBTQ-affirming subjects. Our Lady of Sorrows is a title for Mary that focuses on her suffering. Her feast day is Sept. 15.
More books, music and films about Mychal Judge
BESTSELLER AT Q SPIRIT
“Mychal Judge: Take Me Where You Want Me to Go” by Francis DeBernardo.
The life, ministry and spirituality of Mychal Judge are explored in the 2022 biography “Mychal Judge: Take Me Where You Want Me to Go” by Francis DeBernardo, executive director of New Ways Ministry, a national LGBTQ Catholic organization. The spiritual biography explores Judge’s gay sexual feelings and LGBTQ ministry as well as his Irish-American roots as a “Brooklyn boy,” struggles with alcoholism, and ministry with the marginalized. It provides context for his heroic death as chaplain to firefighters during the 9/11 terrorist attack. The book was published by Liturgical Press, a Catholic publisher, as part of its “People of God” series, which includes Archbishop Oscar Romero, Dorothy Day, and Pope Francis.
“Father Mychal Judge: An Authentic American Hero” by Michael Ford is a 2002 biography that examines Judge’s life, including his journey to accept himself as a gay man. A revised version was published in 2016 with a new introduction and reflections on events since the 9/11 tragedy.
The 2006 film Saint of 9/11 – The True Story of Father Mychal Judge
Mychal Judge leaves an LGBTQ legacy
Following in the footsteps of Judge, Ann Kansfield was sworn in as the first female and first openly gay/lesbian chaplain at the New York Fire Department in 2015. She writes about her experiences in the book “Be the Brave One: Living Your Spiritual Values Out Loud and Other Life Lessons,” published in 2021 by Broadleaf Books.
Another gay man who died heroically helping others in the Sept. 11 attack was rugby champion Mark Bingham, who lost his life while fighting hijackers on Flight 93.
Mychal Judge is the first recorded victim of 9/11 — and also the first saint profiled in the LGBTQ Saints series by Kittredge Cherry when it began on Sept. 11, 2009. Traditional and alternative saints, people in the Bible, LGBTQ martyrs, authors, theologians, religious leaders, artists, deities and other figures of special interest to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender and queer (LGBTQ) people and our allies are covered.
On the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, may these images and stories inspire people with renewed dedication to peace and service to others.
Mychal Judge prayers
Q Spirit’s Litany of Queer Saints includes these lines:
“Saint Mychal Judge, gay chaplain who lost your life while ministering to others in the 9/11 terrorist attack, pray for us.”
Stories from Judge’s life are presented in the book, “Mychal’s Prayer: Praying with Father Mychal Judge
Lord, take me where You want me to go;
Let me meet who You want me to meet;
Tell me what You want me to say;
And keep me out of your way.
For an excerpt from the book, see the previous post 10 years later: Mychal Judge, gay saint of 9/11. Sapienza is also the author of Seventy Times Seven: A Novel, a novel about a young Catholic brother torn between his sexuality and his spirituality as an out and proud gay man.
Mychal’s prayer is the chorus of a song about Judge by Paddy Ryan, a multi-instrumentalist singer-songwriter whose songs blend rock, country, folk and Celtic sources. It is the first song on his debut album “The Man in the Box.” The lyrics include this verse:
Mychal would never turn people away.
He was a priest for the homeless, lesbian and gay.
Through the eye of the needle he sure could have walked.
He would help those the church never supports.
Links related to Mychal Judge
“A Prayer Service in Memory of Father Mychal Judge, OFM” by New Ways Ministry
Mychal’s Message non-profit organization honoring him
Could Father Mychal Judge Be the First Gay Saint? Inside the fractious campaign to canonize the 9/11 icon (Slate.com, Sept. 11, 2017)
“Fr. Mychal Judge” at the Legacy Project
The Stories of 9/11’s LGBTQ Heroes (Advocate.com)
St. Peter’s Parish: Death and Resurrection at Ground Zero (AmericanCatholic.org)
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Top image credits:
“Fr Mychal Judge” by Matthew of @queer.catholic.icons.
“Queer Saints: Father Mychal Judge” by Katy Miles-Wallace.
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This post is part of the LGBTQ Saints series by Kittredge Cherry. Traditional and alternative saints, people in the Bible, LGBT and queer martyrs, authors, theologians, religious leaders, artists, deities and other figures of special interest to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender and queer (LGBTQ) people and our allies are covered.
The first version of this article launched the LGBTQ Saints series on Sept. 11, 2009. It was first published on Q Spirit in July 2016, was expanded with new material over time, and was most recently updated on Sept. 11, 2024.
Copyright © Kittredge Cherry. All rights reserved.
Qspirit.net presents the Jesus in Love Blog on LGBTQ spirituality.
Mychal Judge is a true saint. He brought various disparate communities together, instead of letting the devil divide us. He also, in a small way, reduces homophobia by bridging the macho world of firefighters with the simpler world of friars!
At Judge’s memorial service, Malachy McCourt said that he had heard “if Mike got any money from the right wing, he’d give it to the Gay organizations. I don’t know if that’s true, but that’s his humor, for sure.” From, Gay Wisdom, White Crane Institute
Thanks for this cool fact. White Crane Institute is a great source on gay history.
Thank you for the post and the wonderful icons.
Thank you for the post and the wonderful icons.